Raw Recreation

4 minute read

[2022-03-25 Fri 18:24] - 7998

All the major revelations I have or decisions that I make are usually conscient1 re-assertions of previously subconscient realizations.

I only formulate them fully later on within conversations or when I’m writing.

If you happen to have checked the disclaimer (which turned out to be sort of a pledge as to along what lines and intentions will I approach my writing pursuits), you may have noticed that I do have a focus on generating raw observations, irrespective of their correctness, based on how they seem in the moment.

I you also happen to have noticed that I quit social media as a consumer circa April 2021, and have returned only recently as a creator, and that I view this as a stepping stone towards learning to formulate my thoughts better, you already have a fair idea of where I’m going with this post.

Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me and she used to listened to a lot of these ideas of mine a lot and also acted as a humanoid notebook of sorts that can sustain a good conversation and think along with you. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all those conversations : it’s better articulating myself and doing so accurately because a lot of what we talked about was extremely abstractualized2 and we frequently concluded with conclusions that would seem highly inorganic to an external observer but honestly resulted by the virtue of conversational flow.

I now have this excess of sources of ideas and a scarcity of their sinks. Writing alone is not enough for me. I do talk different than I write and learning to express myself verbally is another orthogonal pursuit of mine (rhetoric - one of the three ancient arts of discourse (along with grammar and logic)).

Hence, I’ve decided to create a Youtube channel, where I simply converse. I won’t be leveraging other media and will be focusing on trying to make it look like a conversation with myself - being honest, not caring about correctness in the moment, but of course willing to correct myself if I find out that I’ve incorrectly interpreted an abstraction. As previously mentioned, the writing pursuit is still independent and indispensable.

While writing this post, I have realized that, the hitherto subconscient2 reason that I do not use pictures in my blogs is that I’d rather prefer writing a thousand words and still being misunderstood about what’s on my mind (that’s what I’m learning here: conveying what’s on my mind) than to simply post a picture.

Consequently, even on my Youtube channel, I will keep things organic and not use any conventional tricks of the trade - It is simply going to be me talking to a camera in a room. I don’t wish to be a vlogger and use what’s exciting around me to assist my expressive pursuits, but to simulate exactly how a conversation with me would evolve if we met at a library and I don’t have the permission to pull out my phone to show you stuff. I’m ditching the training wheels…

This shall be a raw recreation of my experiences.

  1. this is not exactly a neologism: I’ve been itching to use it for some time now in my blogs but usually don’t cause it has a contemporary - conscious. Conscient is an obsolete latin lexical end but I still wish to revive it in my blogs. I found out it’s obsolete after I typed it in my editor and the red squigglies popped up… hence, a pseudoneologism it shall be. Funny how markdown doesn’t allow recursive footnotes because pseudoneologism is a neologism. 

  2. an already initialized neologism (AAIN) : “AAIN” is AAIN  2

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