[2022-04-18 Mon 11:40] - 8022
I’m in a point of my life where I have a huge in-flux of abstractions
coupled with a lack of out-flux of these very abstractions.
I know I’ve talked about pacing myself and maintaining separate identities in my blogs and videos but I’m unable to do so currently.
I’ve only recently begun figuring out what I really like doing and
along with that thought, my mind is running through several
possibilities without control. I do not use any synthetic numbing
agents and do not wish to do so anytime soon.
My mind races uncontrollably, like a raging bull, lacking control and discipline.
I can’t sleep when I want to, can’t stop working when I want to, can’t stop thinking when I want to, can’t figure out what is the cause of this - I can’t stop …
Writing has been grounding me recently and helps me be honest with myself, observing myself from a level higher and allowing me to let off a little of this humongous amount of steam my head has right now.
My head hurts, and I’m not sure whether:
- it’ll explode first due to the excess internal abstractual1 pressure or..
- it’ll implode first due to accumulating a large amount of abstractual1 matter: all of it collapsing into itself due to the formation of a meta-physical singularity.
Finally, I embrace this hurt and won’t be escaping it in any
I feel like that teenage superhero that doesn’t have a hold on his powers. I’m at the cross-roads between degenerating into an abstractual1 chaotic volcano or regroup and abstractually1 morph into an ordered, self-sustaining ecosystem on a big, peaceful, green mountain.
I will be writing more, and posting more videos to maintain my sanity.
This is good and I’m looking forward to the challenge; I shall smirk through it.