My Head Hurts

2 minute read

[2022-04-18 Mon 11:40] - 8022

I’m in a point of my life where I have a huge in-flux of abstractions coupled with a lack of out-flux of these very abstractions.
I know I’ve talked about pacing myself and maintaining separate identities in my blogs and videos but I’m unable to do so currently.

I’ve only recently begun figuring out what I really like doing and along with that thought, my mind is running through several possibilities without control. I do not use any synthetic numbing agents and do not wish to do so anytime soon.
My mind races uncontrollably, like a raging bull, lacking control and discipline.
I can’t sleep when I want to, can’t stop working when I want to, can’t stop thinking when I want to, can’t figure out what is the cause of this - I can’t stop …

Writing has been grounding me recently and helps me be honest with myself, observing myself from a level higher and allowing me to let off a little of this humongous amount of steam my head has right now.

My head hurts, and I’m not sure whether:

  • it’ll explode first due to the excess internal abstractual1 pressure or..
  • it’ll implode first due to accumulating a large amount of abstractual1 matter: all of it collapsing into itself due to the formation of a meta-physical singularity.

Finally, I embrace this hurt and won’t be escaping it in any inorganic way.
I feel like that teenage superhero that doesn’t have a hold on his powers. I’m at the cross-roads between degenerating into an abstractual1 chaotic volcano or regroup and abstractually1 morph into an ordered, self-sustaining ecosystem on a big, peaceful, green mountain.

I will be writing more, and posting more videos to maintain my sanity.

This is good and I’m looking forward to the challenge; I shall smirk through it.

  1. AAIN  2 3 4

Leave a comment